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How to use the 'Encyclopedia of Marvels, Life Forms and Other Phenomena of Zamonia and its Environs'

1. Ensure that the encyclopedia is correctly plugged into your synapses.

2. Should general problems of recall arise [illegibility, mirror-image print, etc.], this may be attributable to circulatory disturbances in your brain. If so, kindly consult your general practitioner.

3. If instead of information from the encyclopedia, you receive instructions from another dimension, signals from outer space, or the voice of your late lamented grandfather, consult a doctor at once.

4. To access an article in the 'Marvels' section, kindly grasp your right ear lobe with your left hand and spell out the requisite headword, loudly and correctly.

5. To access an article in the 'Life Forms' section, grasp your left ear lobe with your right hand and spell out the requisite headword.

6. To access an article in the 'Phenomena' section, cross your hands, grasp both ear lobes, and spell out the requisite headword in reverse.

7. In the event of malfunctions or unpleasant side effects, kindly contact Professor Abdullah Nightingale, c/o The Nocturnal Academy, Gloomberg Mountains, West Zamonia.

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