Eternal Tornado, The. The Eternal Tornado is the last surviving representative of a generation of whirlwinds that keep a fixed route. At its southernmost point this route traverses the interior of the Demerara Desert; at its northernmost point it skirts the Humongous Mountains, beyond which lies -> Atlantis

Eternal Tornado, The [cont]. The objects whirled along and deposited at tornado stops render it probable that the Eternal Tornado is filled with treasures of all kinds. It is presumes to contain tons of gold, silver, platinum, diamonds, jewelry, pearls, and other articles of value, as well as masses of Zamonian currency from various periods.

Eternal Tornado, The [cont.] Eternal Tornado is the popular term for the last megatornado in the perpetuum mobile category still active in the ->Demerara Desert. Unlike normal tornados, this whirlwind, which is approximately five miles high and half a mile in diameter, possesses certain characteristics no longer found in present-day whirlwinds. Among other things, it apparently goes on for ever. Another characteristic is the so-called mobile stability that exists in the heart of the tornado, hence the theory that relates it to another violent meteorological phenomenon, namely, the hurricane. One well known feature of the hurricane is it calm centre, the so-called eye of the storm. Some authorities surmise that the Eternal Tornado originated in prehistoric times, when a hurricane and a tornado collided and became fused together. Although tis would conflict with another meteorological theory [-> Conventions Observed by Exceptional Natural Phenomena, The], it may be one of those popular exceptions that always prove the rule when scientists are at their wits’ end.

This mobile stability, or zone of complete calm inside a raging whirlwind, is so pronounced in the case of the Eternal Tornado that many tornado experts espouse the possibility that a house of cards could be built inside it without collapsing. Although this may be something of an exaggeration, the physical conditions prevailing inside the tornado must be so stable that it would – in theory, at least – be possible to survive there [in very primitive conditions, of course]. Purely in theory, be it noted, because no one would be insane enough to enter a whirlwind of his own free will.

Eternal Tornado, The [cont.] The perpetual motion tornado is a meteorological phenomenon that can recur again and again because of exceptionally stable temperatures and atmosphere conditions, which cause it to follow a course known as the Abdullian Double Tornado Pretzel [so called after Professor Abdullah Nightingale, the celebrated amateur tornadologist]. In this mode, the tornado always follows the same course, a series of loops in the shape of a double pretzel some two thousand miles across.

A stable time vacuum prevails inside the Eternal Tornado. In other words, time is propelled outwards and away from the centre of the whirlwind – like moisture in a salad drainer – by the immense centrifugal force it exerts. In the eye of the storm, on the other hand, time is subjected to extreme condensation, with the result that it passes at breakneck speed. Anyone insane enough to penetrate a tornado’s outer wall of sand would age decades within the space of a few seconds.

While the tornado is changing its centrifugal direction, an annual process that takes about sixty seconds to compete, the time vacuum fills up with time. This mean that, should any living creature happen to be inside the tornado at that moment [an improbably state of affairs, since, as we have already mentioned more than once, no one would be idiotic enough to enter a tornado more than once, no one would be idiotic to enter a tornado in the first place], it, too, would be bound to age by one minute.

Eternal Tornado, The [cont.]. It is assumed that the tornado come to a complete standstill for a few moments it takes to change its rotational direction [during which the temporal vacuum briefly fills up with time]. This would be the only juncture at which anyone situated inside the tornado [and that, as already mentioned in passing, would mean that he possessed the IQ of a lugworm] could leave it in relative safety. He would have precisely one minute in which to burrow through the tornado wall and make good his escape. During that minute of focal mass of the time inside the tornado’s wall changes, flowing backwards at twice the normal speed for sixty seconds, this signifies that, if the wall were penetrated during that period, the ageing process to which those entering the tornado subjected would be reversed. This is only a hypotheses, however, and have to get be confirmed by practical experimentation.

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.